RED

When I was starting this project with the color red, I was a little intimidated to start, because I haven’t made anything with more than a pencil in a long time. Most of the images that I sketch or create are just with my pencil and sometimes a black pen, so diving into color right away felt like anything could happen.

I was quickly discovering that the color that you use really changes how lines and shapes are read on the paper. I couldn’t get away from the thought, “this really looks like I’m drawing flesh.” Red communicates blood, but as I was drawing, I was trying to think of anything else, but it was hard too. Then the next day my dad died. I couldn’t believe how timely this project was.

Looking back at the picture it was hard not to see lungs filling up with blood. I was shocked and wondered if I really could have already started processing my dad’s death the day before. I found myself in a prepared space. And that made me feel safe and hopeful and protected and loved. I didn’t create much more than that in my red phase. The other drawings were more doodles. But I was definitely in grief throughout the rest of my red color season.